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New Years Tips for Living

Happy New Year, from your friend Serpentor! [Picture Removed]
CO-BRA-LA-LA-LA! Haha, okay sike, it’s still your old pal ??????????!!

What are your plans for the new year? Will you sit at home playing games or watching tv (as I did for many many years), will you laugh and hug your closest friends, or will you grab a complete stranger and smooch away? I’ll be at Penn’s Landing most likely, so wave if you see me! I will be extra nice because of the holiday.

In all seriousness, I pray that you all have a safe year ahead of you, and that you recieve just what you deserve in life (as long as it does not contradict my first wish). As for me, I will continue to cherish my beloved friends and my greatest love, one Miss Lorangen.

New Year’s Eve and the hours that follow is a time of reflection. It is an end and a beginning. As we progress into this next year, please allow me to share some of the lessons I have come to know and live by in life. I cannot guarantee that your life will be bettered by them, nor can I swear by their effectiveness. I do not always abide by these, but I usually try. All I can claim is that they have helped me live and be the man I am.

1. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
2. Temper lust with love.
3. Reserve pity for those without hope. Pity is insulting to those who still have it.
4. Try to be patient, but don’t hold back.
5. You cannot please everyone and you shouldn’t try.
6. Lie only when you must protect what is important. Choose your lies carefully.
7. What is best for the group is best for you. When others depend on you, do not fail.
8. Live without regret.
9. Right wrongs when possible.
10. Respect every person as a human being. Respect peers as kindred spirits. Respect friends as soul mates. Most importantly, respect yourself as someone worthwhile.
11. You cannot love others until you love yourself.
12. You could die tomorrow. You could live to one hundred. Live your life accordingly.
13. It is easy for the careless to get caught in their own web of lies.
14. Spend time with those you love.
15. Do not engage in petty arguments.
16. Serve your lord and your wife.
17. To err is human, but don’t expect forgiveness.
18. Forgive.
19. Hate is a strong word.
20. Once you have money, you will realize it isn’t everything.
21. Be able to describe who you are to others.
22. There is beauty in all things.
23. Do not pretend. Do not hide behind falsities. Do not smile if you’re not happy. Do not laugh if you don’t find something funny. Do not say “thank you” if you aren’t grateful. Do not apologize if you are not sorry.
24. You can change.
25. It is not too late.
26. Open your eyes to the world around you.
27. Come to the aid of others.
28. When threatened, you must weigh self-preservation versus the welfare of others.
29. Don’t be annoying to others.
30. Don’t be a burden to others.
31. Only accept responsibility if you can handle it.
32. You don’t “have to” do anything.
33. Every choice is just that–a choice.
34. Don’t do something that you will regret later.
35. Knowledge is wonderful.
36. Idleness is sinful.
37. Learn to read very quickly, while still retaining comprehension.
38. Be proud of the things you do.
39. Excel at what you do.
40. Love others.
41. Sympathize -> Empathize -> Understand
42. It is okay to be afraid.
43. Courage is action despite fear.
44. Your life will end someday.

And now, here is a reposting of yesterday’s resolutions for the new year…

resolutions I Hate Resolutions…

1. Be more considerate of others Fuck other people over.

2. Be more patient when instructing others. Bitch slap slow-ass whores.

3. Be less perverted. Say the word penis at every meal.

4. Be kind to my fellow man. Treat others like lepers.

5. Appreciate and treasure my natural gifts. Act like a cocky, arrogant fucktard.

6. Limit the use of expletives in every-day conversation and online. Fuck that–bunch of damn pussies.

7. Exercise both my mind and my body. Play Counter-strike and eat cheese-covered donuts.

8. Be less critical of others. All of you are retarded.

9. Give to the poor. Lazy bastards can go sniff for nuggets in the alley behind Micky D’s.

10. Be grateful for life and all of its bounties. I love breasts. *boiiiiing*