Love sat to my starboard side and Lust at my left they asked me to quickly make my choice lest I be left bereft.

Oh Lust you’re so conniving! You undermine my will! Yet caught in your passionate throes is quite an awesome thrill. You make me think with my lesser head so I look not ahead–but instead to a bed. Where I let my fury loose on unabashed Eve’s and devour ambrosial fruit, spilling sloppy seeds.

Oh Love you’re so noble! You also mystify! You defy all rules of nature–you’re emotion amplified. You make me think with a different organ–my quaking fickle heart. Still, my sweet Love, I pray to providence we never part. Love, you bring so much more than just your simple name, Happiness, patience, care, and understanding are all your claims to fame.

So, of course, you realize, who I finally chose, possibly the pinnacle of poignancy in all of poetry and prose: yes, I chose sweet sweet Love–despite the cliche. So have you all–my darling friends–a Happy Valentine’s Day.