A Prayer for the Friend

“Friendship is a serious affection; the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle, and cemented by time. The very reverse may be said of love. In a great degree, love and friendship cannot subsist in the same bosom; even when inspired by different objects they weaken or destroy each other, and for the same object can only be felt in succession. The vain fears and fond jealousies, the winds which fan the flame of love, when judiciously or artfully tempered, are both incompatible with the tender confidence and sincere respect of friendship.”

Mary Wollstonecraft

A Prayer for the Friend

Dear god, grant us all the patience to endure trial. Let us learn to forego thoughts of vengeance, disgust, hate, and punishment–instead promoting joy, sympathy, redemption, and tolerance. We are none of us perfect–being painfully mortal and wholly fallible. Let us merely work towards improving our characters and temperaments and learn to respect each other as was meant to be.

It was like one of those shows that I imagine run on the Oxygen Network often. A group of women speaking their minds, sharing their collective consciousness, and current affairs–well, almost. Actually, a group we were a group of men doing all of those things. We talked long into the night, burping and scratching ourselves as only men can pull off casually.

aSiAnKiSsEz thinks that PeTeZmArU is the one that started the tradition. I had always thought that I was the originator; it matters little considering the nature of the custom, which is more about the mutual respect and concern of a group of friends for each other. Whoever started it, the result has been (it seems) a healthy way for some of us to share our lives with each other and get the chance for feedback, comments, and advice.

After eating a dinner at Jade Harbor in Philadelphia’s Chinatown–a celebration in honor of Huy’s twenty-third birthday–we headed to his house for a couple-hour-booze-a-thon. Although the games we played were entertaining and a welcome change from the all-sausage gatherings my friends and I usually have, we made sure we left in time so we could have our guy-talk.

BaBaGoo’s house has been the location for all of our previous guy-talks. Although the stretching room is limited, it adds to the coziness and makes the intimacy that we attempt all the easier. I always make sure to bring a gallon of Wawa? Iced Tea to keep me awake all through the night. It’s helped on more than one occasion, although a necessary ten-plus trips to the bathroom in?the span of six hours is an unfortunate side effect.

What do you do to relieve your tension?

Are there people you can talk to that will listen and be honest when you ask them, “What do you think?” Is there ever a time when you can tell a friend that something he does bothers you and that you’d like to see him change? Are you willing to listen to friends that don’t agree with everything you do, and seriously consider working on your own betterment? These questions are important to ask yourself. If the answer is not yes to each question, is it because you don’t agree with me? Is it because you don’t have true friends? Or is it because you’re not a good friend yourself?

Some of us will never realize how other people see us. Even if we do, we’ll shrug complaints off as meaningless with a simple, “I don’t care,” or a “I shouldn’t have to change.” Well, there’s a difference between the people who don’t matter in our life and the people that should. If all of the people that should matter tell us something’s wrong, should we not listen? Empathize? Improve?

To JadedStaccato: I did appreciate your efforts even though I never acted as such.

To PinkyCutie and aSiAnKiSsEz: Some people just need our help–even if we have to shove it down their stubborn throats–every

one should have the chance at redemption, right?

To “The Troubled“: Life is a trial-and-error, hit-or-miss kinda game. The general consensus is that you are making gross errors and missing the target completely. Your friends are here–should you learn to accept us–to help you through any transitions necessary. (Note: If you think I may be talking about you, please IM me and I will tell you if I am.)

To BabaGoo, PetezMaru, PrincelyViet, SilivtguyQT, BenXiaoHai, Yanan, and Rob: Thanks for being good listeners, good people, and–most importantly–good friends.